QUID HAS HEARD that Colorado’s metamorphosis to being a whole new state is nearly complete. Your faithful hack isn’t talking the politics of bringing heartless Texans and hard-bitten Noreasters into the mix. No, all the newcomers have finally taken the “rad” out of Colorado with their sissy ways. While House Speaker Nancy Pelosi was dropping news bombs about not caring much for impeaching Donald Trump, and, locally, state House and Senate Dems were carpet bombing the political landscape with rapid-fire anti-Republican shock-shells, the only news on TV was about a snow storm. Schools closed up like tender roly polys. Hipsters donned galoshes, real ones from parts way west and east, and there was a shortage of doggy raincoats and kitty booties. Gone are the days that short-pant-clad ‘radans paused only during Stock Show weather to suffer through a couple of weeks of jeans. Car washes were packed just hours before the storm began in earnest, and obvious midwesterners began politely asking questions about when to first begin posting patio snow pictures as the spring weather moved in. No longer the Wild West, Colorado is now as tough as an Ohio WalMart shopper and as adventurous as a Dallas chain restaurant. Yours truly, however, will be ready for whatever March brings on the barstool farthest from the door and the first bar open on any given day, displaying Colorado’s true nativity scene.
AND THAT’S ALL THE NEWS THAT FITS