AURORAN: Your rodent rear is mine, Phil!


    MOVE OVER, PHIL. Stormy is the weather prognos- ticating rodent ’round these parts. Get over it. Those of you who faithfully waited word on the future of

    spring from Pennsylvania’s most famous resident, Punx- sutawney Phil, were just wasting your time. It’s not just that Phil’s phenomenon is based on a centuries-old German fairy tale rather than anything that 95359974remotely resembles science. More important is the fact that a rodent 1,358 miles from Aurora just can’t get a feel for how unpredictable the weather is in A-Town. Stormy can. He’s Aurora’s legendary weather rodent, a stuffed yellow- bellied marmot that gets trotted out once a year to check for shadows and report back. It’s for real, Aurora. A Google search of Groundhog Day nets citation

    No. 34, referring to Stormy the Aurora, Colorado, Weather Predicting Marmot. He has his own website, Marmot Adventures, which depicts him and other stuffed marmots just staring inside someone’s house.

    Now before you start ordering tomato plants based on Stormy’s Feb. 2 fore- cast, read the fine print on Stormy’s page: “Marmot Adventures is intended to be a semi-satirical, informative and thought-provoking website where articles are ghostwritten by sentient beings. Real marmots live high in the mountains without access to the Internet. If marmots did have computers, they still would not be able to type because their furry little toes are very short and most marmots are not much bigger than a computer keyboard, anyway. No marmot lays claim to the contents of this website as marmots are illiterate and don’t truly comprehend the power of computing.” Being mountain dwellers, they also don’t exist here in Aurora, where the more common, but related, prairie dog is king. Being urban A-Town rodents, they get their weather from looking outside, just like everyone else here.