Oh mijn God: Rampant speculoos-tion


Sweet Jesus. Sweet everything. This is how the Dutch plan to take over the world: creamed speculoos, which they say is “crunchy cookie butter.”

Only at Colorado Trader Joes so far, it’s billed as “a deliciously unusual spread reminiscent of gingerbread and made with crushed biscuits.”

Trader Joes creamed speculoos, a cookie cream concoction
Trader Joes creamed speculoos, a cookie cream concoction

And oil. Lots of oil. And sugar. More sugar. Instantly addictive, this peanut-butter like substance smacks of loving every one of the 90 calories it inflicts per tablespoon. That would be a level tablespoon, so scrape the rest back into the jar. In fact, one jar contains enough calories to feed an average U.S. state for nearly a month.

Ultra creamy, it tastes a little like nutmeg flavored Nutella at the start. It finishes off like fine ice cream and cookies. Most treatment centers considered this a gateway food to stroopwaffel sandwiches filled with chocolate, Nutella sessions and Haribo shooters.

If you’re from the real world, speculoos is a ho-hum ginger-snap like cookie that’s been haunting Holland, Belgium and parts of Germany for eons. But whip it up with some extra sugar and oil and — voila! — an American sensation coming soon to a recipe near you.

Out suggestion, mixed with Cap’n Crunch and melted marshmallows, it makes the perfect Red Rocks concert snack.

Available in dark alleys behind ethnic polka parties and Trader Joes on Colorado Boulevard and East Sixth Avenue for $3.49.

— Dave Perry, staff writer